singular moments: the sand and the strangeness

the wreckage leaves me aching.

i screwed it up, something is not right.

its him, hes gone now, and what have i done?

its you, whats with us now, my friend?

no words this time.

they surround you, all of them, am i one of them? all you can do is hold your head in your hands, they back away and i defend you from the glaring sun, my fingers through your hair, you need comfort, you need protection, i will try to be here for you. i'll try to be with you.

your foot. between my two feet, there is space though, inches on either side. it moves, it rubs the side of my shoe on its way to push the sand. push the sand against my other foot. pat, pat.

my feet, your foot.
touching.

you stop though, abruptly.

you look up into my eyes.. why am i melting?

this shouldn't be happening, not here, not now.. not us, not like this.

but it is.

but its not.

something is happening, quickly and breathlessly.

was it their coming, their commotion, was it the pushing the shoving?

or was it me?
just being there?

you leave. i leave. we're gone.


its not the same for the rest of this day, the eye contact is fleeting..

i feel unsure.