sketches: unfirm

i wave my head around,
act like i'm nuts,
just for a constant,
for something to trust.

something dependable,
safe, whole, and fair.
all those changes were coming
and now they're not there.

i don't understand the new pause that is here,
i'm moving in slow mo,
and i can't stand up straight,
theres no way away,
and i'm starting to ache.

i try to say things
or read messages so wrong
just to get something

whirling back into
its place, just to stay for one
sec and let me breathe.

scared and abandoned,
shaking and raw,
i want something to lean on
so i will not fall.

promises

hold my hand, stay with me.
i'd like to make promises
right back to you, but they're hated,
they fail here, and i can't believe.

no one has kept them,
not only me. things change just
to scare me, but then

when they don't, i can't
wait for the action, i try
to drag it along.

whisper your secrets,
tell me your fears,
but lets not make promises,
they cannot be kept here.

we know this.
we're human.
we trust the unspoken,
and fail belief in the told.

i don't trust us,
i don't believe,
we are not to make promises,
not in this crazy scene.

we know we can't keep them,
now lets not tell old lies,
just to believe in our promises,
which have already died.