undeserving

I am humbled here.
I have fallen so short
And become so far gone
With weak and wispy morals
Transitory and translucent
Impure and imagined to be
Of a better person than I am.

I drag my sins
To the place you have given me
Beside you, inside you
A place that I fit in so well
But will never afford.
You love me with a mercy that
Transcends what I deserve.
Your forgiveness in the place of justice
Is more than I could come to justify.

I need to learn how to love you
Beyond what I can manage
For under my management of your heart
I wrecked you.
I wrecked you.
I wrecked my love and my only.
How could I do that
If I loved you?

I did I do I will love you,
By the empowerment of the one who can
Lead me to a place where I am delivered
Freed from the temptations that have
Made me shatter every precious thing I have had,
And that I will not let come and devastate this.
Lead you to a place where you can be loved
More than I can provide
And in a way that brings you calm and happiness
In your anguish and in your anger.
Lead us to a place where what we walk through
Will not stay with us or set us apart
And will turn this sadness into goodness.
Into gold.

I am humbled here,
I understand,
And this is my prayer,
That I can love you enough.

adjustments

these past two years have been of petals
and falling or pulled
i've never uncovered so much of a person.
i thought you were magnificent before
but somehow you've expanded beyond that.
despite all the violences i've brought against you
and the adjustments of becoming,
you remain quietly and disruptively beautiful.
your sides are where i've been staying,
and there, leaving is a letdown and returning is contentment,
but it is nothing compared with the treasure i had of being within you
and the regret of my life that i stepped outside and away.